Welcome, wipe your feet on the way in

Hello betches
and welcome to the pop whore's blogspot, if your stupid-press the x button- if your fat- press the xbutton- if your Hannah Montona- go play in Brandy Norwood traffic because here at Pop Whore we spare nobody. And that's a fact.
Here, we will try our damned hardest to give subjective commentaries on pop culture news stories but you should know now, unlike MediaTakeOut we here at PopWhore actually know what we're talking about, for example we won't dog on Keri Hilson one day and praise her irrelevant kitty the next, we keeps it consistent in this bitch.
First off, i would like to explain to you how i feel about the following artists so you have a clear idea of what my ideologies are;

Rihanna:
THANK GOD FOR THE BITCH. If Mr.Camel didnt' sign Rihanna who the fuck would Hannah Montana fans turn to when Miley Cyrus is too fucked up to walk around stage nodding her head to faux pop rock whilst trying to ensure that $3 wig doesnt fall off her head. Rihanna is good because she allows people to lower their standards, you know what to expect from Rihanna, posing, awkward umbrella twirling, a voice that sounds like a goat getting brain from a toothless eskimo and hot pop dance tracks. If you took a Hannah Montana fan to a Rihanna show, they'd be in awe, they wouldn't be able to get over the "innovation" and would spend the rest of their little existences recalling the day they saw Rihanna in concert. However, if you took a Hannah Montana fan to a Sasha Fierce concernt, those pre-teen bitches would fuckin shit themselves, "WTF, singing, dancing, stage humping, interacting, smiling, endorsing, actually being talented ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Oh heck no!Mommy take me home."
So that's how i feel about Rihanna.

Spencer Pratt:
Is douche bag spelt with a mother fucker at the end of it?

Heidi Pratt:
Erm- a person would need to be alive behind the eyes for me to comically assess them, erm, i think her new nose is cool?


Alicia keys:
playing the piano, looking constipated, being afro-centric, being bisexual AND fucking other womens husbands is not easy especially when you are also trying to forge a career as an actress, so i respect Alicia, bitch can multitask. Whilst she soothes you with her piano playing with her right hand shes giving your husband a rhythmic handjob with her left hand. Fuckin whore.

Bow Wow:
Omario's booty awaits you.

Perez Hilton:
The reason i live, the reason i breathe, i want to marry him ( was that ok? or is it obvious im only complimenting him to win over some of his fan base.)


Diddy:
A rapper who can't rap. An executive is only good at executing the careers of talentshow whores (wazzaaaaaaaaaaap Ebony and Ivory) Day 26, you are next. However if you remove the fat one, the black one and the one with the breasts (oh wait thats the fat one) and replace these members with slim, white justin timberlake looky likeys then perhaps you may have some shortlived mainsteam success, maybe.

Mariah Carey:
Whispering really fast and fucking unfunny exgigolos is a downgrade from getting put in a dick coma up in that steel tower but hey Mariah is our girl. E=Mc2 was the shit (yes, it really was) but for those of you who actually did well at maths, you will know that E=mc2 actually means nothing. If the Emancipation is equivelant to Mariah Carey to the power of two, all you are doing is promoting a record that you have already released because you are saying that The Emancipation of Mimi is like Mariah mutiplied by herself once (now thats a big Mariah) why the fuck would you make that the name of your NEW album, its like tatooing your ex boyfriends name on your husbands ass.

Chris Brown:
So you see at school, you have the guy that nobody really talks to but everyone smiles at just to be polite and for some weird "MARKETING" reason he starts "DATING" a popular girl and then tries to become one the guys by doing something really masculine, like- oh lets just say- biting, beating up, choking,kicking up his girlfriend, well that's what Chris Brown is to the music industry. Although he may have the fat ridden hearts of overweight undersexed and quasi lesbian black women, that skinny motherfucker has really ticked off the mainstream media.
He seems to be under the impression that leaking all those photos of him and Robyn F took will ruin her image and help his. AU CONTRAIRE Senor Limp Dick, Rihanna's career will be fine, you however are one more "im not a monster" home video away from joining Janet Jackson on Beyonceitis's list of irrelevant motherfuckers who have part time jobs at Popeye. Bastard.

Janet Jackson:
That'll be $456.96, thanks for ordering at Pizza Hut.



Britney:
Once upon a time there was a cute little girl from a town where sexual relations with ones cousin was seen as being in vogue who was taken to DisneyLand and then all of a sudden she became a Mickey Mouse Kid and then all of a sudden she got a record deal and then all of a motherfuckin sudden she was being sexed up by a team of publicists and A&R who really shouldve known better. After years of hit records, amazing "live" shows, countless awards and world domination (shut the fuck up, Britney dominated MY world) this little country girl who had become a hot sex kitten got so exhausted she ended up fucking dead beat dancers which then resulted in her eggs being fertilised which then resulted in her getting pregnant, which is when that little skeeze nature got hold of her, Britney put on a little "Kelly Clarkson" weight and it became apparent to all, including My Uncle Breanna that you can take a girl out of the country, but you cant take the country out of the girl, you can put a lacefront wig on a pig, but its still a pig, you can write vagina on a dick but it's a still a dick- you can put your fingers in my- well you get my point.
Now Britney makes around 3 mil a night from walking around the stage lip synching songs she cant remember ever recording whilst trying to stay awake whilst grinding on gay dancers whilst trying her best not to say "my clitora is hanging out." Now that's talent, fuck the singing and dancing and entertaining all at the same time, thats for losers, thats for idiots, dragging your tired pussy around an elaborate stage is where the money's at.

Ciara:
(crickets)

Lady Gaga:
All i have to say is- every once in a while God sends the Earth a popculture gift, a gift so special that even World leaders have to stop and say "now that's a fierce bitch" in the 1990s we got Beyonce' and Britney, in the 1890's we got Madonna and in the noughties (i know you like my lingo) we got Lady Gaga, that's all i have to say, except this- if a certain wailing, slutty, blonde haired marylin munroe, producer fucking singer thinks she got away of biting Lady Gaga's swagger, that bitch should know she is WRONG.

Fergie:
1. Nobody is trying to copy your swagger because for your swagger to be copied you would need to have a swagger in the first place. 2. When you finally get the courage to tell Will. I. AM ONLY GOOD FOR PRODUCING that you don't want to be in the Green Beans or is it Two Peas In a Pod (whatever their band is called) thats when i respect you, until then you can consider yourself nul in void, you dont matter, fuck off- betch.

Solange:
Mmm, at first i hated this creole bitch, more so than i hated my mother when she told me that my Uncle Albert had actually been my Aunty Alberta until an accident with a hot comb changed shit, but then after listening to her album on Youtube, i fell in love with her chilled out, retro, electric sound and ACTUALLY bought her record, not that helped her sales much- to date I have sold more copies of my grandmother's autobiography "The Life and Times of a PopCulture Whore's Illiterate Grandmother" than Solange had sold "Sol-Angel and The BillBoard Chart Dreams."
You really have to give this woman a chance because she is very good and although her attitude can seem stank, she means well, plus her father IS Mathew Knowles, my hero (all recycled sarcasm aside, the man inspires me so much.)

Kim Kardashian:
What a hoe. No, no, only kidding (to be said in a strong Indian accent) Kim is the shit and i dont care what anybody says. Anybody who hates Kim is just jealous that she made a sex tape, got famous from it, got a show out of it, got a black man out of it ( i think that kills you guys the most) and is still going on strong and proved what a great person she is in HER show (you hear that Khloe and Keisha?????). Ray J (the star of For The Love of An Irrelevant Hip Hop Singer Who Is Coincidentally the Less Talented Brother Of a Speed Driving Irrelevant R'n'b Singer Named After My Father's Favourite Liquer) tried to suggest that he was more "real" because had not benefited from the sextape. Nigger let me hollaatchu for a second, THATS BECAUSE NOBODY CARED WHO YOU WERE BEFORE THE SEX TAPE. The reason Kim is famous now is because the world did not know who she was before and so to the eyes of the world and E! she was a new marketable celebutante. Ray J had already been irrelevant six years before he was giving out golden showers and so nobody really cared, it could have been James Brown (God rest his spicy soul) in that sextape with Kim and nobody would have cared, people were just concerned about the azzzzzzzzzzzz.

Eminem:
3am made me shit myself with fear and if after five years you're releasing shit you could have released 5 years ago then maybe now would be a good time to check out that pension plan, homie. Oh and Vanilla Ice wants his unique selling point back, pronto.

Beyonce:
After close discussion with my psychiatrist and TyTy, i have been advised not to discuss Beyonce' on here until she has finished her I AM tour, however here is a video of what happens everytime Beyonce' comes back and what the affect is on the industry:http://www.youtube.com/watch?index=31&playnext_from=PL&feature=PlayList&p=672528C287E8C0D2&v=V0f85MlFcls&gl=US&playnext=1