ThePopSlut Service Provider

PopGigolo:
After a few days of this blog, I have realised through Twitter how popular it is becoming and so I decided to speak to my good friend Ashanti who explained, "It would just be bananas if you didn't capitalize off of it, just bananas." So I have decided to introduce The PopSlut Service Provider. Please find details below.

STANDARD EDITION- $12.00
PopSlut will write a positive review of your album EVEN IF it goes Triple Plastic. PopSlut will also subtly reference the titles of your new songs in her blog.

DELUXE EDITION- $35.00
PopSlut will write 6 positive reviews of your album and will even download the entire album plus all the songs your label intentionally leaked before from Limewire. PopSlut will also arrange for members of the Paparazzi to capture shots of you leaving a strip club with an artificial smile on your wide face and then will personally send the photos to MediaTaKeOut so they will stop calling you gay.

JUSTBANANASDELUXE EDITION- £230.000 (we are in a recession hoe)

PopSlut will put on her freakdum dress, her sheep skin thong and herWWW (Wendy Williams Wig) and go to your hotel room and let you insert your shitstained penis in her satirical flange, she will then leak photos of you and her 69ing each other to Bossip so they will stop calling you gay.

THEJUSTBANANAS DELUXE EDITION DEUX- (Price Given after Enquiry.)

When I (not Popslut but me- PopGigolo) is visiting your local neighbourhood to see Susan Boyle on her ItMustBeSusie World Tour,I will come to your house and watch straight pornography with you whilst eating Cheetos and sipping on Chocolate Milk, then I will dress up in a maid's outfit and do the entire routine (including the ChoirClaps) to Single Ladies for you and your great grandfather for an entire week.

Terms and Conditions:
1.Pokemon Themed Pyjamas Must Be Provided for BOTH PopGigolo and PopSlut when staying at your house and pyjamas must have Pikachu on the front- no pikachu- no pussy.

2. Your parents (or whoever the fuck is caring for you) must make a breakfast of eggs, beans and toast every morning until contract is over (No Pork, because PopSlut is Moslem.)

3. Deposit of Pubic Hair must be paid two weeks in advance before start date of contract (the pubic hair will be returned once contract is fulfilled and we have received the full amount, IF YOU DONT pay the full amount my homegirl Princess ZuluAnne of Yoruba will place an irreversible curse on the pubic hair which will close your butthole and make shitting impossible).

4. When reffering to either PopSlut or myself during a fuck session, the following phrases will not be permitted:

i) Aww baby!
ii) Yeah baby fuck me harder
iii) i need to take a dump

If any of these phrases are said, PopSlut or myself will have the right to take your needle out of our anus or vagina (depending on which one of us it is) and cancel the contract but you still must pay the full amount.

Thankyou.


For more questions email :PopSlut@ThatsAGoodlookBetterYetAHoodLook.Com
and she will reply with any information regarding this.

Id like to shout out Jamie Jermaine who actually bought THE JUST BANANAS DELUXE EDITION DEUX- www.twitter.com/jamiejermaine
His mixtape As I Am is out later on this year and I for one will definitely ignore it and tell him that I have bought it.

Thankyou