Stupid shit

It's The 2008 Grammy's, Rihanna is announced as the winner of the BestSung/Rap Colloboration and she runs to Jay Z, pulls him from next to his wife and Sasha (who has at this point taken the form of Solange).
What would you have done if you were Beyonce'?

Grab that little Basian Bitch by her hair, run up and collect her award and smash it against your thigh?

Smile and wait for her in the parking lot after the show and alongside Tina Turner give her a Rolling In The River Beat Down.

Or option C: Wait till she has an album coming out and release yours on the same day- forcing her to go back to Bar-bay-dose and take up the life of a weed-smoking pig choking dutty whining housewife.

You see, to hate on Rihanna for not being on the level of Beyonce' is stupid when NOBODY or NOTHING will ever be on Beyonce's level.
How can you pride yourself in being the fan of the best entertainer of the last decade because nobody can compete with her and then hate on someone for not being able to live up to an impossible standard.

This current pop culture era was not made for Beyonce- it was made for Rihanna because if it was made for Beyonce', the only artists who would be competing with Beyonce' on the charts would be artists who could sing, dance, entertain, smile, endorse, grunt, act, achieve shit, flick their hair and scratch their pussies all at the same time, but that is not the case.

This current pop culture era has been dumbed down so much that the kids of today think that Hannah Montana is the greatest entertainer around because they've been taught not to expect much.
If the kids of today had a lick of good sense- Disney Channel would not exist- neither would Soulja Boy and neither would Rihanna but because some media industries have succeeded in exploiting the stupidity of modern audiences, Disney Channel thrives, Rihanna is relevant and Soulja Boy is.... I'm sorry- i tried.

This current pop culture era is full of artists who are good at one thing but really bad at the other or just bad at everything. See list below.


Ciara
Beauty: 10/10
Dance Technique:10/10
Commercial Appeal:N/A
Vocals: See Janet Jackson
Quality of Music: N/A
Acting: N/A

As you can see Ciara is indeed very beautiful- which is why she has a modelling contract not because she is commercially appealing, (81,000 units in first week sales is anything but commercially appealing) but because she is beautiful. Ciara has her dance technique down but like Janet Jackson, Ciara is obsessed with telling secrets because all she seems to do is whisper.
The Quality of her music is Non Applicable because Ciara does not have music, she just has sounds, Ciara after five years has not been able to find a sound that works and sells for her which is why people can't take her seriously. Which is why she still hasn't had her own tour when Lady Gaga and Katy Perry who both debuted last year- both are currently headlining their own tours as well as opening up for the other artists. I can't tell you if Ciara can act because like 89% of the world's population, I have not seen Mama I'm Trying To Sing

Mariah "Glitter" Cannon
Beauty: Plastic
Dance Technique: Pardon?
Commercial Appeal: Uncertain
Vocals: 1990-1999
Quality of Music: 10/10
Acting: Why you got to goes there?

Mariah was beautiful and was as fresh as Shontelle's accent but since the beginning of the decade Mariah has been looking more like Malibu Barbie (The Overweight Edition) than the Mariah who could make old men want to trap her up in steel towers. Her dance technique is to not move at all which is why I was almost arrested by my cardiac when I saw her in that Obsessed video actually walking more than five paces without exploding.
Her quality of music is versatile, to go from Vision of Love to Touch My Body effortlessly is commendable as only a few artists can do that, so bravo Mariah but that won't stop your new record slipping off the charts in its second week of release.
Mariah's acting is erm- the only way Mariah can get away with acting is if she says very little- very slowly like in her new movie, Precious which looks amazing even more so now that I know Sandra Rose is playing the title role:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx-3jYJkUWQ


Rihanna
Beauty: 10/10
Dance Technique: The Umbrella Twirl and The Side Eye
Commercial Appeal: 10/10
Vocals: Eh-eh
Quality of Music: Predictably Unpredictable
Acting: We'll find out next year.

Since Mellisa still hasnt paid me for all those compliments i've been bestowed upon Rihanna, I refuse to evaluate her any further- however I will say this, if there was an award going for the artist who has succesfully been able to get to the top ten with vocals that sound like a goat being fisted by The Hulk over hot dance tracks- Rihanna would win it.


Beyonce
Beauty:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGrq1SzkHs0&feature=channel
Dance Technique:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj3GjwAxeXw
Commericial Appeal:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QVWwrZyz7o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beMeO6HELDI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FNle_yPCLQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1RYGmGWfQI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L2CF3YDMcs&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLQZ1mSiIgA&feature=related

Vocals:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj3MlWjwL9w
Quality of Music:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ns3GN5VAcVc
Acting:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8fiKuM-eN4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEE44O0Ma6Q