Beyonce Fan: Whatever- she still shits on all 15 of your favourite artists and their mommas.
Rashanda: If she wasn't lite skinned, ain't nobody would want her- she so fake.
Beyonce' Fan: Cool- she still shits on the artists you grew up listening to.
Rashanda: I'm glad Jennifer Hudson won the Oscar and not FakeOnce', JHud is the best and a better singer than wigonce'
Beyonce Fan: Oh is it? bring out Jennifer's record- i want to listen.
Rashanda: I don't have it.
Beyonce' Fan: Didn't you say she was the best.
Rashanda: Yes.
BeyonceFan: And didn't you say she's better than Beyonce'.
Rashanda: Oh hell yeah.
BeyonceFan: But you didn't buy her record?
Rashanda: No.
BeyonceFan: I see.
You see the fuckery.
Yous see the dumbass bullshit.
That's all I have to say about that- you find your own meaning in that conversation.
But now for the shade (Mya look away)
Mya announced JUST NOW on Twitter that she will be releasing a new record called Sugar And Spice.
Now you see, I honestly believe there are some people who like making a fool out of themselves, who like being the butt of all the jokes, so Mya because I lost 13 pounds doing the routine you did in Case Of The X in my room and because you've succesfully beaten Brandy in being the most outdated and unsuccesful 90s diva (since the 90s). I'm going to give you some advice:
TURN THE FUCKING MIC OFF!
Bitch is you crazy- you know what happened the last time. A flop single, a record which noone is even sure came out, getting laughed at by Dick, Tom and Harrison Ford, why do it yourself, why go through it again?
Mya (sigh) nobody wants to see you get hurt, you don't need any more embarrasement, if you release a record, I'll be forced to post your first week sales which will be so low that a man with three fingers would have no problem counting how many records you sold on one hand.
I'm begging you girl- don't do it. If you're looking for a job I can help you out, here's what you have to do.
This evening, Keri Hilson is performing in the same venue that my Uncle Alberta had his wedding reception, you will buy this product :http://www.gericarepharm.com/images/441-25.gif and slip it into Ms.Hilson's Kool Aid, stir twice and chant "hakunamatata" ten times and then wait for her to come back to her dressing room.
When her clown looking ass sees you she will assume you are there to ask if you would like to join her on her Keri Hilson Experience Tour Sponsored By Chicken Inn, you will smile and say something like "oh girl im so busy" and then you will encourage her to drink the drink, you will then watch as her stomach gets looser than Lil Kim's labia and shit uncontrollably. She'll be shitting so hard, her asshole would look like all the colors of the motherfucking rainbow.
You will then twitpic this and send it to me so my Twitter friends and I can laugh at it and then blackmail Keri with this letter.
14 Ass BackWard House
Irrelevant Hating Ass Hoe Alley
Commercially Unsuccesful Street
"insert satirical zipcode"
Dear Keri "Big Bird" Hilson.
This letter is regarding some photos of you we have obtained shitting recklessly in your dressing room, I have these pictures saved and stored on my Acer and have Necole Bitchie's email adress saved in my inbox from the time I sent in those photos of Ciara tucking her cock in between her legs and then using ducktape to keep it attatched to her stomach. I swear on the muticolored tombstone of James Brown that I will send these photos to Necole IF you do not write an entire song apologising to Mrs.KFC (Knowles Carter Fierce) for those assbackwards comments you made about her in your song- whatever the fuck it was called.
If you do not comply, we will send these photos in to MediaTakeout, Bossip and even to Perez whom I have heard is into that kind of shit.
I will also write a formal letter of complaint to your mother requesting an explanation as to how and why she allowed herself to be insemintated with your father's sperm which created you when that sperm could have been used to dry Alicia Key's acne. Also- if you do not cooperate, I will have Barney, Spongebob Square and Sheila E arrive at your place of work everyday. I will give them clear instructions to throw the carcasses of deceased domesticated animals at you until you apologise.
If you still refuse to apologise, I will simply lace your drink with Mz.Tina's Love To Love You Baby Love Potion and when you drink it you will fall in love with the first person you see who I will make sure will be Rick Ross.
I am sorry to be so harsh and cruel, but a PopSlut's got to do what an evil bitch has got to do.
If you would like more information about my demands please contact the following:
Thankyou.
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