BET Awards- can you say shambolic?

Before I start, I would like to shout out that homeless lady who defended me against those three tranny's this morning on the way to my doctor's house, I couldn't have fucked up those Sister Patterson look alikes without you.

Now onto the main topic- I am so pissed off with a lot of things, my period started today on the very day i decided to wear white underwear and a white dress, I had the shits and whats more I just found out that http://www.wigcrypt.blogspot.com/ still has not called me out for those quasi smart ass comments I made about it, what does it take to get a little shameless attention around here, just as I was thinking that I got a call from my homegirl Cassie who was just crowned America's Next Top Failed Pop Artist Destined To Be A Model beating out Ciara (who came 2nd) and Amerie who came third.
Cassie explained to me that a friend of hers had read the blog and wanted to do an exclusive interview with me, to be honest I didn't know what to expect :http://insaneramblingsitcomzombie.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/miss-piggy-poses-for-playboar.jpg

As soon as I saw that fierce bitch work the camera, I knew I just had to get an interview with her, so I met up with her at T.I's house to discuss her thoughts on pop music, her relationships and her new record.

PS: What's good with you Miss.Piggy.

Miss Piggy: It's Mz Piggy, and yes I'm fine.

PS: Sorry, tell us about your recent cover for PlayBoar magazine, why did you do it?

MzPiggy: I did it to show those other bitches that I'm still around and I'm still hotter than all of their skinny asses, these new bitches got no respect for my hustle, I was grinding and making my cheddar long before Janet Jackson started her period and I was the original video chick, but nobody wanted to acknowledge that, so them bitches had to be reminded.

PS: I see, what are you thoughts on the tragic death of Michael Jackson?

MzPiggy: I'm sorry but I've got enough troubles of my own without having to worry about some deceased skinny guy- no no- do you know the kind of shit I've been going through with some dumbass interviews about this whole swine flu shit. I cant even leave the motherfucking crib without people trying to spray my unsuspecting ass with disinfectant.

PS: Let's talk about your new record.

MzPiggy: Yes, well after being dropped by Columbia, I got signed by Island Def Jam and i'm right behind Amerie on LA Reid's list of priorities, so I can safely say my album wont be out till 2014, but what I can tell you is that I've been working with some new producers who are really bringing home the bacon. After Kermit passed away and getting into beef with she who shall not go on a diet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7c2lC9JlJo I wanted to go for a more hoodrat, cheap and highly irrelevant direction so I have Keri Hilson writing all the songs, Swizz Beats doing all the production and Ciara recycling the choreography from Janet Jackson's If video for my One Night With Mz Piggy Brought To You By Frankfurters World Tour. I'm so tired of being compared to Beyonce' when everybody knows Beyonce' got her style from me! who you think Sasha Fierce is based on?! Me! So this new record is gonna put an end to all the fuckin comparisons to the bitches out there who couldnt carry a tune in a Comme De Garcon ManBag.

PS: So you're saying Beyonce' cant sing?

MzPiggy: Now wait a minute- I never said that, me and Celestine go way back, what I mean is that me and B are on two different levels, i'm a REAL diva, shes nothing but a superhuman rich girl TRYNA be a diva, ya feel me? When my record drops, y'all gon know what I mean, I'm comin hard on this one, I've been through shit and y'all know it, I did time for shit I knew nothing about:http://fascinatingtales.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/bad-miss-piggy-413232.jpg and so thats why I'm a real female version of a hustla.

PS: What's the record called?

MzPiggy: The NoTorious P.I.G, like I said its a hip hop record, and i'm coming hard, I even got a track where I get at those mother fuckers who say I'm too disgustng to eat: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQakPFaXwcLqFaLDFmonp3NBzNBNAJCYOYxW70dsdfhwoz40t2T9JcuxJSu7mNf0xRAT90k_lm-X0OwRumo44qdNtCr9NiFkJS8j2W2KjKVWEVChnHCOxAW1zRTbtHqAbSl-8IP_O_7dQ/s1600-r/piggyburkaweb.jpg.

PS: Thankyou very much.

MzPiggy: No-thankyou.


MzPiggy's album will be out as soon as LA Reid figures out a way to tell Amerie that signing her was just a practical joke gone too far.