MSF

Sales Representative: Hello and Welcome to the FlopShop, can I help you.
Mya: Oh yes- you can, I'm looking for a medium sized flop for sometime mid 2010.
Sales Representative: Any reason why?
Mya: Well i'm about to go on some show and will try and use the exposure from it to start trying to achieve shit again, so do you have a msf for me?
Sales Representative: Erm- I'll have to ask you a series of questions first.
Mya: Sure.

Sales Representative: Did your last record sell less units than Whoopi Goldberg could sell pussy?
Mya: Yes.
Sales Representative: Was the last time you received an award worth being happy about before Raz B was getting dickdowned by his cousin Chris Stokes?
Mya: Erm- yeah.
Sales Representative: And if your current career was a penis, would it be one of the following:
A)Be so small that when you jacked off it runs down your balls.
B) So small that it's actually a pussy.
C) So little that instead of handjobs you get finger jobs.


Mya: B- no no actually C.
Sales Representative: Great.
Mya: So can I get a medium sized flop?
Sales Rep: Sorry- Mariah has those all booked up.
Mya: What does Msf consist of anyway?
Sales Rep: A msf is when an artist has average first week sales of 200,000 units and then drops to around 50,000 in second week and then continues to decline but because they have singles in the top 10 they get away with the flop because the average Jose' The Plumber can't read sales and only bases what they think is succesful on what they see in the singles charts, however only relevant artists like Mariah and Madonna can get away with this although Mariah's first week sales are usually higher than 200,000.

Mya: Then why can't I have one.

Sales Rep: Because you have to have a fan base to shift 200,000 units, you couldn't even sell 40,000 when we were in a boom so what makes you think you could shift 200,000 in a recession, further more although your name will become a familiar one on the lips of the mainstream again because you'll be getting twisted and turned every week until they vote you out of Dancing With the HasBeens, the second people start to think of your achievements they'll notice they all occured almost a decade ago hence extending the knowledge of your flops further than Bossip and MTO and into TMZ and the like. You understand?

Mya: So i really can't have one? What can I have then?

Sales Rep: We are in contact with your label- we can request that they buy you out of your contract so you can sign to a management agency who will make sure you spend the rest of your life seatfilling at award shows and presenting one off shows like The Truth Behind Dora and Diego.

Mya: How much do you think my career is worth?

Sales Rep: We actually valued it earlier this week for you, we uploaded the results here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR9ee_rix00