So as you know, I recently did an interview with always spicy Mz.Piggy who revealed she would be releasing her 10th record The Notorious P.I.G. sometime around 2014 via Island Def Jam to be released in unison with Amerie's new record Horns And Shit, however after getting into a brawl with LA Reid who ordered pork whilst eating dinner with her, Mz.Piggy has parted way with Island and signed a contract with Tina Knowles' newly formed record label, Jumbo Jams.
In a press release with CreoleConnection Tv, Mrs. Knowles explained that "signing Mz.Piggy was the best decision i've made since deciding to add cinnamon to my homemade potatoe salad, we're going for a more soulful, upbeat dance record which shows off Mz.Piggy's undeniable talent and sex appeal, bitch is fierce."
Mz.Piggy reportedly requested that her new label who recently signed pop megastar Samwell:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU, ensure that no meat would be served when Mz.Piggy was around, she also indicated that she plans to continue on her Porky Perfection World Tour Sponsored by FrankFurters for which Ciara is the opening act.
Mz.Piggy explained during an assbackwards interview with Rocsi and Terrence on 106 and Hoodrat, "This record is going to put every single on of those U-List r'n'b singers on blast, from Keri Hilson to Kunta Kente- they all gon get it."
The Notorious P.I.G. is due out on November 12th followed by the release of the single "DivaCode" named after her best selling book. DivaCode is a diss track to all those "wannabe divas who need to know that like Da had the code for Vinci I have the code for Diva."
Notorious P.I.G album tracklist.
1. DivaCode ( composed by: M.Piggy, Makeba, S.Garret, Big Bird)
2. Careless Whisper(composed by: M.Piggy, backing vocals by Ciara)
3.K.E.R.M.I.T (composed by: Stargate, T.Shakur, M.Piggy)
4. F.U.R (Fuck U Rihanna composed by C.Harris, M.Piggy, T.Marie, J.Smith, Shontelle)
5. Burger Queen- The Aretha Diss Track (composed by: M.Piggy, N.Cole, T.Turner)
6. Sasha False- The Beyonce diss track (composed by: writer wishes to remain annonymous)
DivaCode lyrics to be performed to
The only Pig in this shit to knife a bitch up in pen
Miss Piggy on the track, so let the story begin
Verse1:
P.I.G bitch
What it be bitch
I'm the sugar honey caramel tea bitch
If I see that bitch
Imma hurt her
I'm a dude bitch
Call me Frank Furter
Fuck MJ- i'm superbad
Put laxative in you sa-lad
Talkin shit and didn't think i heard it
Why you think ain't nobody fucking with Kermit
Ive got that
Diva Code
Diva Code
Diva Code
I've got that
DivaCode
DivaCode
Diva Code
And Now i think it's time for a apple-pie la mode
Verse 2:
You ain't shit bitch
You a pussy bitch
You need some FemFresh
Because your pussy itch
I roll with big toys
I roll with big boys
If i sold my pussy
Y'all couldn't touch it
No strings attatched
Cos i ain't a fucking Muppet.
I've Got That
DivaCode
DivaCode
DivaCode
I've Got that
Diva Code
DivaCode
DivaCode
You call me sapien- cos i love homos.
Thursday, 9 July 2009
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Ain't nothin' strange about cho daddy!!
Since The Jackson family were too busy wondering how they were going to raise three strange Caucasian children that are not even biologically related to them to notice that they hadn't invited Beyonce' to sing (or dry hump the stage) for Michael Jackson's service, I decided that like all black people, the Jackson's dont appreciate shit.
After all those tributes Sasha And Them did for Senor Kiddy Fiddler and they couldnt even ask her to perform YET they called Usher, who for some reason thought it would be cool if he got down on his knees and tried to beg Katherine Jackson for forgiveness, "I'm sorry I didn't bring my kids to Neverland when Mike was alive- Tameka said not to, she said bad shit goes down there."
I've digressed.
So anyway, since The Jacksons were too ungrateful to call up Beyonce' and have her and The Mamas work it out for Michael, I have created my own program of what Michael's service SHOULD have been like.
1.05pm- 1000 little boys from local neighbourhood marchdown to Neverland and jump in Michael's bed (He would have liked that). As they jump around playing with Michael's fleshlight, Deja Vu begins to play and Beyonce' performs (crazy African choreography and all) whilst on rollercoaster. Then entire Jackson family and fans walk in and take their seats in The Staples Centre whilst Ciara performs Heal The World (0ff beat and off key whispering and all) whilst trying her best to fuse Janet and Michael's style but ends up failing, as per usual.
1.06pm- Video montage of Beyonce's various tributes to Michael Jackson and a half an hour interview where Beyonce' describes the influence Michael had on her career, R.Kelly and Gary Glitter then appear on stage dressed as Michael and performs PYT and then a rendition of Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number.
1.10pm- Al Sharpton delivers speech on the importance of remembering that Michael (just like a confused Oreo) was black inside and gives his PFP (Prayer For a Pervet) speech, which is then followed by half an hour of applause by people who see nothing wrong with pretending that Michael Jackson didnt have a thing for the petite garcons of the world.
2.00pm- Beyonce' and Mariah arrive on stage and do a sing-off to the song Dirty Diana, Beyonce' then says "hit it Bibi" and her all female band rise up from under the stage and play Liberian Girl as Beyonce' performs it. Mariah exits stage. Beyonce' then sits on stage and discusses how she intends to add a further 150 more dates to her I AM... 80 Times Better Than All Of You Put Together Multiplied By 39 World Tour and then Juelz arrives on stage from the ceiling whilst sitting in a bedazzelled baby stroller rapping the lyrics "Never Ever Going To That Land". Mathew Knowles watches from the audience smiling as he notices the Pepsi Brand on Juelz microphone, he thinks "so even my grandbaby knows the power of endorsements? you done a good job Matty, a mighty fine good job".
7.30.pm- Janet Jackson gives speech.
7.30pm- Janet Jackson ends speech.
HOUSE OF DEREON COMMERCIAL FOR NEW SHEEPSKIN COLLECTION.
7.35- The Staples Centre is emptied as LaToya Jackson performs Black or White alongside Lil Kim as this is going on video montage of Beyonce' posing in photoshopped edited photos with Michael Jackson is played on the big screen. Michael Jackson smiles from wherever he is.
After all those tributes Sasha And Them did for Senor Kiddy Fiddler and they couldnt even ask her to perform YET they called Usher, who for some reason thought it would be cool if he got down on his knees and tried to beg Katherine Jackson for forgiveness, "I'm sorry I didn't bring my kids to Neverland when Mike was alive- Tameka said not to, she said bad shit goes down there."
I've digressed.
So anyway, since The Jacksons were too ungrateful to call up Beyonce' and have her and The Mamas work it out for Michael, I have created my own program of what Michael's service SHOULD have been like.
1.05pm- 1000 little boys from local neighbourhood marchdown to Neverland and jump in Michael's bed (He would have liked that). As they jump around playing with Michael's fleshlight, Deja Vu begins to play and Beyonce' performs (crazy African choreography and all) whilst on rollercoaster. Then entire Jackson family and fans walk in and take their seats in The Staples Centre whilst Ciara performs Heal The World (0ff beat and off key whispering and all) whilst trying her best to fuse Janet and Michael's style but ends up failing, as per usual.
1.06pm- Video montage of Beyonce's various tributes to Michael Jackson and a half an hour interview where Beyonce' describes the influence Michael had on her career, R.Kelly and Gary Glitter then appear on stage dressed as Michael and performs PYT and then a rendition of Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number.
1.10pm- Al Sharpton delivers speech on the importance of remembering that Michael (just like a confused Oreo) was black inside and gives his PFP (Prayer For a Pervet) speech, which is then followed by half an hour of applause by people who see nothing wrong with pretending that Michael Jackson didnt have a thing for the petite garcons of the world.
2.00pm- Beyonce' and Mariah arrive on stage and do a sing-off to the song Dirty Diana, Beyonce' then says "hit it Bibi" and her all female band rise up from under the stage and play Liberian Girl as Beyonce' performs it. Mariah exits stage. Beyonce' then sits on stage and discusses how she intends to add a further 150 more dates to her I AM... 80 Times Better Than All Of You Put Together Multiplied By 39 World Tour and then Juelz arrives on stage from the ceiling whilst sitting in a bedazzelled baby stroller rapping the lyrics "Never Ever Going To That Land". Mathew Knowles watches from the audience smiling as he notices the Pepsi Brand on Juelz microphone, he thinks "so even my grandbaby knows the power of endorsements? you done a good job Matty, a mighty fine good job".
7.30.pm- Janet Jackson gives speech.
7.30pm- Janet Jackson ends speech.
HOUSE OF DEREON COMMERCIAL FOR NEW SHEEPSKIN COLLECTION.
7.35- The Staples Centre is emptied as LaToya Jackson performs Black or White alongside Lil Kim as this is going on video montage of Beyonce' posing in photoshopped edited photos with Michael Jackson is played on the big screen. Michael Jackson smiles from wherever he is.
Saturday, 4 July 2009
America's Next Top Failed Pop Star Cycle 5.
It's that time of the year again and Janet Jackson and her team of expert failed pop stars destined to become amateur models are on the search for the latest America's Next Top Failed Pop Star Destined To Be An Amateur Model . After Cassie won Cycle 4 last year beating Amerie, Keri Hilson and Bow Wow in The 106 and Park Challenge, the cycle 5 auditions were teeming with aspiring failed pop stars making jackasses of themselves in order to get a place in the competition.
Audition Tape 1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r0jKaX10sw
Audition Tape 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9M-i0eWPjc
Audition Tape 3:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzb-2yJWFKU&feature=related
Audition Tape 1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r0jKaX10sw
Audition Tape 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9M-i0eWPjc
Audition Tape 3:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzb-2yJWFKU&feature=related
That's Ms. Fenty If you Can Afford to Fund all 14 of my singles taken from my soul-less record which people call R'n'b just because I'm black
Rihanna.
What's not to love about her. Homegirl is beautiful, she's hot, bitch is fierce, bitch could outsideye Rupual, but my dear friends, this is not America's Next Top Model, this is the music industry.
Rihanna was signed by a man who wanted to create a beautiful, sexy, foreign far less talented teen version of his fiance', and he succeeded, now Rihanna is a pop star, shitting on all her contemporaries with her infectious Britney reject singles, her fire accent, her fire engine no.5 lipstick and a hair style that Kelis was rocking since before Nicole Scherzinger knew how to say "así que cuando mi álbum es realmente van a salir?".
Rihanna proves that it takes more than looks to be succesful, if beauty was the key to mainstream success then Janet wouldn't eating corndogs out of Jermaine's asshole and Ashanti wouldn't be doing the late shift down at ChickenSkinShack. Rihanna proves that you need to have a team of hot writers, good production, sex appeal looks and phrases like "I had to fyteee for dat song before de writer let me have it."
But Rihanna put me to shame in February. I could no longer go on down to the UntalentedPopArtistAppreciationCentre with my head help up high because Rihanna took a rolling in da river beat down and didn't do shit.
I thought you was a bad girl RiRi.
I thought you was from Barbaydose.
To think that Rihanna let that skinny ass, scrawny motherfucker knock her about and then say nothing about really pissed me off because I knew that she could have made a fortune out of selling her story to Vogue and then making an appearance on Dr.Phil armed with a box of Kleenex's (who would have paid Rihanna for the endorsement), but Rihanna did nothing. So being the pathetic, pop culture Rihanna lover that I am (note that I can love Rihanna because there is a part of me that is stupid, i dedicate my intelligent part to Beyonce, penises and Madonna (sometimes) ) I decided to create a schedule for Rihanna which she would have used if she had decided to speak out against the dirty skinny bastard.
Schedule for Ms.Rihanna Fenty
4.00am- Wake up next to Mellisa in swanky New York hotel to find that her right hand is in between your vagizzle. You say nothing and get into the shower.
4.01am- Get out of the shower and put on Samsung cell phone and see that you have 14 missed calls from TMZ wanting to know how much you'd like for the photo you sent to them of your battered and bruised ace. You then see you have a text from Neyo wanting to know if he can borrow your CoverGirl "Shimmer Before You Suck" lipgloss because he's meeting Bow Wow later on that night. You don't reply.
5.00am- Call Vogue to confirm 11 page interview and photoshoot and then call members of the press to ensure that they catch you leaving hotel.
6.00am- Whilst in car on the way to Vogue you receive a heartfelt video message from Tina Knowles inviting you to spend a couple of days with her and Juelz in order to help you get over getting beat the fuck up, but since you're aware that Juelz told members of the press that he wished that it was him that fucked you up, you decline the invitation and get to Vogue.
6.05am- Leave Vogue and make your way to Jay Z's apartement to find that he is unable to speak or hear you due to the fact that Sasha put him in a pussy coma before she left to ruin the careers of more d-list Vanity 6 tribute acts. Because Jay Z's speech is inaudible you cannot hear him telling you that Solange will be stopping by soon and if she catches you there, she'll show you a clip of a movie that she directed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fo-45pQpELY&feature=related
What's not to love about her. Homegirl is beautiful, she's hot, bitch is fierce, bitch could outsideye Rupual, but my dear friends, this is not America's Next Top Model, this is the music industry.
Rihanna was signed by a man who wanted to create a beautiful, sexy, foreign far less talented teen version of his fiance', and he succeeded, now Rihanna is a pop star, shitting on all her contemporaries with her infectious Britney reject singles, her fire accent, her fire engine no.5 lipstick and a hair style that Kelis was rocking since before Nicole Scherzinger knew how to say "así que cuando mi álbum es realmente van a salir?".
Rihanna proves that it takes more than looks to be succesful, if beauty was the key to mainstream success then Janet wouldn't eating corndogs out of Jermaine's asshole and Ashanti wouldn't be doing the late shift down at ChickenSkinShack. Rihanna proves that you need to have a team of hot writers, good production, sex appeal looks and phrases like "I had to fyteee for dat song before de writer let me have it."
But Rihanna put me to shame in February. I could no longer go on down to the UntalentedPopArtistAppreciationCentre with my head help up high because Rihanna took a rolling in da river beat down and didn't do shit.
I thought you was a bad girl RiRi.
I thought you was from Barbaydose.
To think that Rihanna let that skinny ass, scrawny motherfucker knock her about and then say nothing about really pissed me off because I knew that she could have made a fortune out of selling her story to Vogue and then making an appearance on Dr.Phil armed with a box of Kleenex's (who would have paid Rihanna for the endorsement), but Rihanna did nothing. So being the pathetic, pop culture Rihanna lover that I am (note that I can love Rihanna because there is a part of me that is stupid, i dedicate my intelligent part to Beyonce, penises and Madonna (sometimes) ) I decided to create a schedule for Rihanna which she would have used if she had decided to speak out against the dirty skinny bastard.
Schedule for Ms.Rihanna Fenty
4.00am- Wake up next to Mellisa in swanky New York hotel to find that her right hand is in between your vagizzle. You say nothing and get into the shower.
4.01am- Get out of the shower and put on Samsung cell phone and see that you have 14 missed calls from TMZ wanting to know how much you'd like for the photo you sent to them of your battered and bruised ace. You then see you have a text from Neyo wanting to know if he can borrow your CoverGirl "Shimmer Before You Suck" lipgloss because he's meeting Bow Wow later on that night. You don't reply.
5.00am- Call Vogue to confirm 11 page interview and photoshoot and then call members of the press to ensure that they catch you leaving hotel.
6.00am- Whilst in car on the way to Vogue you receive a heartfelt video message from Tina Knowles inviting you to spend a couple of days with her and Juelz in order to help you get over getting beat the fuck up, but since you're aware that Juelz told members of the press that he wished that it was him that fucked you up, you decline the invitation and get to Vogue.
6.05am- Leave Vogue and make your way to Jay Z's apartement to find that he is unable to speak or hear you due to the fact that Sasha put him in a pussy coma before she left to ruin the careers of more d-list Vanity 6 tribute acts. Because Jay Z's speech is inaudible you cannot hear him telling you that Solange will be stopping by soon and if she catches you there, she'll show you a clip of a movie that she directed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fo-45pQpELY&feature=related
Friday, 3 July 2009
A Girl Called M
Once upon a time there was a young girl. For the sake of this story (which has a clear yet annoyingly ambigous moral behind it) let's call this young girl "M". When M first came out, M was the shit. M could sang, M was hitting notes so high even the Angel Gabriele was getting down to M's jams. M was hitting notes so high and so unique that even Whitney-The Queen of High had to take off her $0.99 wig to her.
Then shit happened. M lost her damn mind (which is debateable as some question whether M really had a mind to begin with). M started doing shit like putting on lots of weight all unannounced and shit, M started making up fictional characters during interviews and shit (Sasha Fierce is an altergo not a fictional character, so shut the fuck up). M then did some more crazy ass shit then dissapeared, and whilst she was gone we got a lot of new artists and even saw the making of a few icons, some of who are still icons, some of who drag their tired vaginas around an elaborate stage everynight in order to pay child support to a dead beat money hungry ex husband.
When M came back everybody was excited, her music was new, fresh, sexy, hot, but M wasn't sanging like she used to, instead M became Obsessed with whispering, and then even took to lip-synching which led to M having high first week sales and then seeing her records slide slowly off the charts like diarrhea sliding down Usher's greasy face, then she got married to an d-lister, a hood rat icon, a motherfucking irrelevant and then M decided to get brave by confronting a particular dude who claims to have given M a golden shower. The song sucks but because M has such loyal fans who haven't seem to noticed that there is big difference between the M of today and the M of the 90s, the song will get to number 1. for a while until one of ItGirls releases a single which will dethrone M's song. The M will release four other singles that nobody will care about.
Confused?
Perplexed?
Take a gander at this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLTdr2xnFLA&opt_out_ackd=1&persist_gl=1&gl=US
Then shit happened. M lost her damn mind (which is debateable as some question whether M really had a mind to begin with). M started doing shit like putting on lots of weight all unannounced and shit, M started making up fictional characters during interviews and shit (Sasha Fierce is an altergo not a fictional character, so shut the fuck up). M then did some more crazy ass shit then dissapeared, and whilst she was gone we got a lot of new artists and even saw the making of a few icons, some of who are still icons, some of who drag their tired vaginas around an elaborate stage everynight in order to pay child support to a dead beat money hungry ex husband.
When M came back everybody was excited, her music was new, fresh, sexy, hot, but M wasn't sanging like she used to, instead M became Obsessed with whispering, and then even took to lip-synching which led to M having high first week sales and then seeing her records slide slowly off the charts like diarrhea sliding down Usher's greasy face, then she got married to an d-lister, a hood rat icon, a motherfucking irrelevant and then M decided to get brave by confronting a particular dude who claims to have given M a golden shower. The song sucks but because M has such loyal fans who haven't seem to noticed that there is big difference between the M of today and the M of the 90s, the song will get to number 1. for a while until one of ItGirls releases a single which will dethrone M's song. The M will release four other singles that nobody will care about.
Confused?
Perplexed?
Take a gander at this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLTdr2xnFLA&opt_out_ackd=1&persist_gl=1&gl=US
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Every once in a while, something out of this world and supernatural occurs, in the last cenutry three examples are the invention of viagra, the vibrator and this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLeVlBca5lg.
But yesterday after having a heated debate over some Oreos with my Uncle La Q'uarias I discocvered another new and supernatural occurence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrlfRYXMthg&feature=fvsr .
(breathe)
(stretch)
(shake)
(let it motherfucking go)
Are people that stupid that it takes all these years to realise this shit. A black man and a white lady don't make no Brady Bunch looking kids, especially when that black man is Michael Jackson. I for one- have trouble believing that Michael was even capable of having an erection without blushing (or peeling) with embarrasement.
Everybody knows that Michael only got married for getting married's sake, If you ask me he was a-sexual, neither straight or gay but rather enjoyed the company of unsuspecting latino kids with a terminal diseases (how you doing Gavin?). Michael Jackson wanted to be caucasian and so having three white kids helped fulfill his twisted ambition to be perceived as a white man, VERTILIGO MY ASS. That dude was bleached more times than GaGa's weave and he expected people to believe just because his skin was the colour of pale semen that he was a white man. What bullshit. What stupidity. What motherfucking trash.
BET and their ignorant asses should have ignored Michael's death because this was a man who like Elvis used African American Culture to gain mainstream fame and then turned its back on it the second he was done with it. The man wore a lacefront wig (which there is nothing wrong with because I myself am partial to the occasion lace de la front myself) but he wore the wig to appear more Caucasian, now that was his business, thats got nothing to do with me and my ranting ass but I find it shocking that there are people out there who are convinced that those kids were conceived by Michael, when let's be real- can YOU really see Michael having sex with anybody who doesn't spend hours deciding which Power Ranger they'd rather be.
And when it comes to Jordy Chandler, there is no way he would "admit" to lying because if he "admitted" that he and his parents lied then dude would either have to be very stupid or would want to die. Jordy never admitted to lying about anything- some die hard fans thought it would be a good idea to start up that rumour to try and make Michael look better. Failed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VlNC_EXjxA
2 Minutes 30 is priceless.
But yesterday after having a heated debate over some Oreos with my Uncle La Q'uarias I discocvered another new and supernatural occurence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrlfRYXMthg&feature=fvsr .
(breathe)
(stretch)
(shake)
(let it motherfucking go)
Are people that stupid that it takes all these years to realise this shit. A black man and a white lady don't make no Brady Bunch looking kids, especially when that black man is Michael Jackson. I for one- have trouble believing that Michael was even capable of having an erection without blushing (or peeling) with embarrasement.
Everybody knows that Michael only got married for getting married's sake, If you ask me he was a-sexual, neither straight or gay but rather enjoyed the company of unsuspecting latino kids with a terminal diseases (how you doing Gavin?). Michael Jackson wanted to be caucasian and so having three white kids helped fulfill his twisted ambition to be perceived as a white man, VERTILIGO MY ASS. That dude was bleached more times than GaGa's weave and he expected people to believe just because his skin was the colour of pale semen that he was a white man. What bullshit. What stupidity. What motherfucking trash.
BET and their ignorant asses should have ignored Michael's death because this was a man who like Elvis used African American Culture to gain mainstream fame and then turned its back on it the second he was done with it. The man wore a lacefront wig (which there is nothing wrong with because I myself am partial to the occasion lace de la front myself) but he wore the wig to appear more Caucasian, now that was his business, thats got nothing to do with me and my ranting ass but I find it shocking that there are people out there who are convinced that those kids were conceived by Michael, when let's be real- can YOU really see Michael having sex with anybody who doesn't spend hours deciding which Power Ranger they'd rather be.
And when it comes to Jordy Chandler, there is no way he would "admit" to lying because if he "admitted" that he and his parents lied then dude would either have to be very stupid or would want to die. Jordy never admitted to lying about anything- some die hard fans thought it would be a good idea to start up that rumour to try and make Michael look better. Failed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VlNC_EXjxA
2 Minutes 30 is priceless.
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
BET Awards- can you say shambolic?
Before I start, I would like to shout out that homeless lady who defended me against those three tranny's this morning on the way to my doctor's house, I couldn't have fucked up those Sister Patterson look alikes without you.
Now onto the main topic- I am so pissed off with a lot of things, my period started today on the very day i decided to wear white underwear and a white dress, I had the shits and whats more I just found out that http://www.wigcrypt.blogspot.com/ still has not called me out for those quasi smart ass comments I made about it, what does it take to get a little shameless attention around here, just as I was thinking that I got a call from my homegirl Cassie who was just crowned America's Next Top Failed Pop Artist Destined To Be A Model beating out Ciara (who came 2nd) and Amerie who came third.
Cassie explained to me that a friend of hers had read the blog and wanted to do an exclusive interview with me, to be honest I didn't know what to expect :http://insaneramblingsitcomzombie.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/miss-piggy-poses-for-playboar.jpg
As soon as I saw that fierce bitch work the camera, I knew I just had to get an interview with her, so I met up with her at T.I's house to discuss her thoughts on pop music, her relationships and her new record.
PS: What's good with you Miss.Piggy.
Miss Piggy: It's Mz Piggy, and yes I'm fine.
PS: Sorry, tell us about your recent cover for PlayBoar magazine, why did you do it?
MzPiggy: I did it to show those other bitches that I'm still around and I'm still hotter than all of their skinny asses, these new bitches got no respect for my hustle, I was grinding and making my cheddar long before Janet Jackson started her period and I was the original video chick, but nobody wanted to acknowledge that, so them bitches had to be reminded.
PS: I see, what are you thoughts on the tragic death of Michael Jackson?
MzPiggy: I'm sorry but I've got enough troubles of my own without having to worry about some deceased skinny guy- no no- do you know the kind of shit I've been going through with some dumbass interviews about this whole swine flu shit. I cant even leave the motherfucking crib without people trying to spray my unsuspecting ass with disinfectant.
PS: Let's talk about your new record.
MzPiggy: Yes, well after being dropped by Columbia, I got signed by Island Def Jam and i'm right behind Amerie on LA Reid's list of priorities, so I can safely say my album wont be out till 2014, but what I can tell you is that I've been working with some new producers who are really bringing home the bacon. After Kermit passed away and getting into beef with she who shall not go on a diet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7c2lC9JlJo I wanted to go for a more hoodrat, cheap and highly irrelevant direction so I have Keri Hilson writing all the songs, Swizz Beats doing all the production and Ciara recycling the choreography from Janet Jackson's If video for my One Night With Mz Piggy Brought To You By Frankfurters World Tour. I'm so tired of being compared to Beyonce' when everybody knows Beyonce' got her style from me! who you think Sasha Fierce is based on?! Me! So this new record is gonna put an end to all the fuckin comparisons to the bitches out there who couldnt carry a tune in a Comme De Garcon ManBag.
PS: So you're saying Beyonce' cant sing?
MzPiggy: Now wait a minute- I never said that, me and Celestine go way back, what I mean is that me and B are on two different levels, i'm a REAL diva, shes nothing but a superhuman rich girl TRYNA be a diva, ya feel me? When my record drops, y'all gon know what I mean, I'm comin hard on this one, I've been through shit and y'all know it, I did time for shit I knew nothing about:http://fascinatingtales.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/bad-miss-piggy-413232.jpg and so thats why I'm a real female version of a hustla.
PS: What's the record called?
MzPiggy: The NoTorious P.I.G, like I said its a hip hop record, and i'm coming hard, I even got a track where I get at those mother fuckers who say I'm too disgustng to eat: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQakPFaXwcLqFaLDFmonp3NBzNBNAJCYOYxW70dsdfhwoz40t2T9JcuxJSu7mNf0xRAT90k_lm-X0OwRumo44qdNtCr9NiFkJS8j2W2KjKVWEVChnHCOxAW1zRTbtHqAbSl-8IP_O_7dQ/s1600-r/piggyburkaweb.jpg.
PS: Thankyou very much.
MzPiggy: No-thankyou.
MzPiggy's album will be out as soon as LA Reid figures out a way to tell Amerie that signing her was just a practical joke gone too far.
Now onto the main topic- I am so pissed off with a lot of things, my period started today on the very day i decided to wear white underwear and a white dress, I had the shits and whats more I just found out that http://www.wigcrypt.blogspot.com/ still has not called me out for those quasi smart ass comments I made about it, what does it take to get a little shameless attention around here, just as I was thinking that I got a call from my homegirl Cassie who was just crowned America's Next Top Failed Pop Artist Destined To Be A Model beating out Ciara (who came 2nd) and Amerie who came third.
Cassie explained to me that a friend of hers had read the blog and wanted to do an exclusive interview with me, to be honest I didn't know what to expect :http://insaneramblingsitcomzombie.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/miss-piggy-poses-for-playboar.jpg
As soon as I saw that fierce bitch work the camera, I knew I just had to get an interview with her, so I met up with her at T.I's house to discuss her thoughts on pop music, her relationships and her new record.
PS: What's good with you Miss.Piggy.
Miss Piggy: It's Mz Piggy, and yes I'm fine.
PS: Sorry, tell us about your recent cover for PlayBoar magazine, why did you do it?
MzPiggy: I did it to show those other bitches that I'm still around and I'm still hotter than all of their skinny asses, these new bitches got no respect for my hustle, I was grinding and making my cheddar long before Janet Jackson started her period and I was the original video chick, but nobody wanted to acknowledge that, so them bitches had to be reminded.
PS: I see, what are you thoughts on the tragic death of Michael Jackson?
MzPiggy: I'm sorry but I've got enough troubles of my own without having to worry about some deceased skinny guy- no no- do you know the kind of shit I've been going through with some dumbass interviews about this whole swine flu shit. I cant even leave the motherfucking crib without people trying to spray my unsuspecting ass with disinfectant.
PS: Let's talk about your new record.
MzPiggy: Yes, well after being dropped by Columbia, I got signed by Island Def Jam and i'm right behind Amerie on LA Reid's list of priorities, so I can safely say my album wont be out till 2014, but what I can tell you is that I've been working with some new producers who are really bringing home the bacon. After Kermit passed away and getting into beef with she who shall not go on a diet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7c2lC9JlJo I wanted to go for a more hoodrat, cheap and highly irrelevant direction so I have Keri Hilson writing all the songs, Swizz Beats doing all the production and Ciara recycling the choreography from Janet Jackson's If video for my One Night With Mz Piggy Brought To You By Frankfurters World Tour. I'm so tired of being compared to Beyonce' when everybody knows Beyonce' got her style from me! who you think Sasha Fierce is based on?! Me! So this new record is gonna put an end to all the fuckin comparisons to the bitches out there who couldnt carry a tune in a Comme De Garcon ManBag.
PS: So you're saying Beyonce' cant sing?
MzPiggy: Now wait a minute- I never said that, me and Celestine go way back, what I mean is that me and B are on two different levels, i'm a REAL diva, shes nothing but a superhuman rich girl TRYNA be a diva, ya feel me? When my record drops, y'all gon know what I mean, I'm comin hard on this one, I've been through shit and y'all know it, I did time for shit I knew nothing about:http://fascinatingtales.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/bad-miss-piggy-413232.jpg and so thats why I'm a real female version of a hustla.
PS: What's the record called?
MzPiggy: The NoTorious P.I.G, like I said its a hip hop record, and i'm coming hard, I even got a track where I get at those mother fuckers who say I'm too disgustng to eat: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQakPFaXwcLqFaLDFmonp3NBzNBNAJCYOYxW70dsdfhwoz40t2T9JcuxJSu7mNf0xRAT90k_lm-X0OwRumo44qdNtCr9NiFkJS8j2W2KjKVWEVChnHCOxAW1zRTbtHqAbSl-8IP_O_7dQ/s1600-r/piggyburkaweb.jpg.
PS: Thankyou very much.
MzPiggy: No-thankyou.
MzPiggy's album will be out as soon as LA Reid figures out a way to tell Amerie that signing her was just a practical joke gone too far.
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