Did you really want to know where the blog girls were at?

Hello motherfuckers, c'est moi.
I know it's been a minute, but I was kidnapped by every single one of Ciara's fan and they forced me to engage in a foursome so after MediaTakeOut paid my ransom fee in exchange for some interesting stories I have spent the Christmas and New Year recovering in a place I like to call home (Youtube.)
Now for me Youtube is a very powerful tool for the publicists of hasbeen Havanah's like Ashanti who post comments like "Top that Beyaki!" in the comment board underneath the video of Ashanti performing Aww Baby at her fat sister's house party(no such video exists- Ashanti's sister's fingers were too fat to press record.)

Youtube also allows us to hear an entire album without buying it and so since I don't like wasting my money,I decided to listen to Rated R.

To begin with, I forced myself to like the record in fear of being labelled a "hating ass Sasha Supremacist" and then just as I was about to steal $10 from my Grandmother's purse to go and buy it, a Rihanna interview came on and reality set in. The album is only good when you forget that Rihanna is singing/neighing it.

In Rihanna's interview she tried her best to present herself as an artist who had taken a risk with this record, an artist who had a deep connection with the lyrics and greater understanding of what Rated R meant for her. Yet what Rihanna forgot was that we know none of the concepts on the record were created by her and that we all know she's too stupid to actually understand why her writers have written an album like this for her.


Since 2007, Rihanna has been on a mission to prove to the world that she's a "tough ass chick" sort of like a high fashion Pink and with Good Girl Gone Bad's intensly catchy singles even if you weren't convinced by Rihanna's contrived imageyou couldn't help but love the songs.On this record, her writers and producers have tried to create an album to be the soundtrack to Rihanna's image.

The only problem is that Rihanna is not a convincing artist and even intellectual well written songs like Cold Case Love do nothing to move the spirit. On G4L Rihanna tries her best to sound as though she is a gully bitch, like she has a razor in her purse and a rifle in her cooch. The only problem with that is that we know Rihanna isn't a bad bitch, not because she got beat up but because of the way she handled getting beat up. Waiting only to discuss the "incident" with Diane Sawyer when Rated R was coming out to use the publicity surrounding the interview to promote an album which refused to give her a number 1 single. Think about it, how many artists do you stan for talk with Diane Sawyer to promote their record- Rihanna was not concerned with telling her story but more concerned with trying to make us believe that she was an honest, truthful "don't give a fuck" type of girl.

In the song Hard, Rihanna calls hating ass bitches like me out not realizing that it's hating ass bitches like me that spent more time promoting her record than her label could afford to. Rihanna- being the immature whore that she is still has not recognized the last year MediaTake Out was her biggest form of promotion and that BlogGirls like me have a big influence on the way people perceive what artists do. Why do you think Michelle Williams panders to the Skorpion Show or Mariah Carey suddenly has an interest in BScott, they are protecting themselves against being called out by developing personal relationships with the influence leaders like Youtubers and bloggers.
Calling out blogs for discussing the shit that YOUR publicists put out is stupid and ignorant and proof of how even after millions are spent on promotion, packaging and preparing an artist, if the product itself is stupid people won't buy it and with three radio singles, not 1 number 1 and a record that slid down the charts quicker than a fingerless chimpanzee trying to climb a stripper pole that is exactly the case with Rated R.



Rihanna- your tea has been clocked.