Where my money at Micky?

After working her way through a KingSized Box of Kleenex's on E! Mrs. Aguilera decided to hop up on the PopWhore's satirical lap and have a one to one on love, sex and marriage.

PW: So the last time you were number 1 was when you were helping Mya and Pink spread some Lady Marmalade all over your toast, what have you achieved since then?

Baby Jane: I got married and had a son.

PW: So you basically got fucked, that's all you really did. Anyways- so what are your thoughts on Britney's current state in the industry.

BJ: It's no suprise, those fuckers were stupid when I came out and stupid now- only stupid people would pay to see someone drag their camel toe around stage lip synching repetitive and stupid lyrics, so fuck Britney- that's how I feel about that slut.

PW: I agree.

BJ: You do?

PW: Oh yes, she is indeed the original Pop Culture whore, Pop Culture uses her as a poster child for anything it wants to, success or a melt down, beauty and then ugliness. Pop Culture fucked Britney so hard that she still hasn't caught her breath which is why singing live is virtually impossible for her to do and since she is sucking Pop Culture's dick Pop Culture sees no problem with discriminating against artists who actually do their job in favour of Britney who hasn't actually promoted a record since her toxic was running under.

BJ: And what am I?

PW: You're the whore that isn't actually a whore because nobody ever comes to you for shit, Pop Culture never wanted you but you forced your way and have been forced to accept the fact that you will always be the last resort, for example-the only time an award show organiser would call you to perform in 2005 was if Beyonce' is too pretending to be impressed by the artists that her husband keeps signing and Britney was too busy figuring out how holding notes worked.
Today- the only time an award show organiser would call you up is if Beyonce' is too busy draining millions out of her disciples on tour and if Britney was too busy trying to figure out how holding notes worked and if Rihanna was too busy thinking about what to wear to that award show and if Lady Gaga was too busy writing a thesis on Pop Culture Pussy to perform on the show.

BJ: How dare you?! I'm a fucking legend, I've been around for more than a decade, everyone knows my name and everyone is scared of me.

PW: Like HIV. You don't automatically become an Icon or a living legend the second the tenth anniversary of your first number 1 comes around, turning into an Icon means you are iconic of the time your art exists in.
Per example, even if the only video Michael Jackson ever released was Smooth Criminal, he would still be an icon because that video symbolised every single aspect of his creative genius which then became iconic of the time that he existed in, in the same way Lady Gaga is iconic because of her domination and her succesful exposure of Avant-Garde High Brow Pop Music.
Beyonce' is an Icon because she leads and revolutionises the way in which we as consumers view Contemporary Pop Music and performance style. Like Janet Jackson you will never be/are no longer an Icon because you stopped/never were iconic of your time. Like Janet Jackson your foolish pride is the reason you can't announce a new release without being heckled at.
Janet is no longer an Icon because she was only an Icon because her music meant something, when it stopped meaning shit so did she and her fans alongside mainstream media abandoned her. Because Janet Jackson hasn't got any notable talent such a good singing voice, it became impossible for her to do anything about her being blacklisted because the only thing she was good for was dancing and since nobody was giving her stages to dance on- she simply became an expiring has been artist who we really should have ignored the second the new millenium arrived.
You on the other hand can sing, but so can a lot of artists, you've never gone on a tour which people foam at the mouth about, you've never released an MTV video (see definition at end of post), you've never even given a performance which your fans can reference when in an argument with over zealous Mariah fans. You're just a joke.

BJ: I don't give a fuck what you say- and those other artists you mentioned like Lady Gaga can go eat a pussy- i don't even know who that is.

PW: When you said that around this time last year you cemented the idea in everyone's minds that you will never be recognised as an Icon. The largest consumers of popular music are teenagers, if it was OAPS it would be your grandmother and not Rihanna on the cover of Rolling Stone. When you say that you don't know who an artist who is extremely popular with teenagers is all you are doing is confirming that you are out of touch with everything which then makes you unattractive and then means that your fan base will simply age without being rejuvanted by a injection of younger fans. You bit Lady Gaga's style because when she first came out in the US The Fame was a commercial failure and so you and your team of overweight stylists thought that Lady Gaga would simply remain an underground artist who you could rip and tear off when you felt like it, little did you know that an international audience would propel Lady Gaga into US Pop Culture which resulted in higher sales and bigger singles which flaunted off her individual style which then made it apparent that your dusty was indeed a swagger thief.

BJ: I'm gonna go, I've got studio time to waste.

PW: I hope you learn't something from today.

BJ: Go suck on a spiced foreskin.
































MTV Video: Single Video or series of Videos released by an artist or band which are of a memorable and iconic nature worthy of MTV respect as MTV is the official home of all music videos (www.youtube.com being the younger, sexier, cheaper alternative.)
Example:

"That new U2 Video is such an MTV Video."
"I'm kinda mad that Lady Gaga's Paparazzi got leaked on the internet- that video is such a MTV Video it deserved its own premiere."