GRACE JONES ACCUSED OF BEATING UP YOUNG BERG

Police have apprehended an erratic Grace Jones after she walked into her local Mcdonalds confessing to the assault of arti- rapp- musici- oh what the fuck- pussy hole Young Berg.
Ms. Jones who is now being questioned by police is said to have walked into her local Mcdonalds and when she discovered that they had run out of Big Macs told the server, "serve me da Mac or I'll fuck up your shit like your mother just re-christened you Young Berg."

The server then immediately called the police and whilst Miss Jones sat at the table waiting for police to arrive she told the manager everything.

"I walk into house- fuck up the security cameras with the heel of my boots and walk up to his motherfucking room- he say he no like dark skinned women- well last night he definitely saw how dark my pussy was when i stood over his face and made him drink my salty liquer, then i beat him around the head with my loaded weapon shoutin "you don't like what?!" "you dont like what?!"- his ass never saw it coming."


Berg, who is said to be sucking on the dick of his manager to calm himself down after the situation had this to say:


I tried to conversate widd her, leddaknow dat we could work shit out, but then she pissed on me man, she straight pissed me.


Other celebrities had this to say.


"Haha I say Haha- now I'll get back to pruning Que's ass"- Diddy.

"Ah man- that shit is so so fucked up- I wanted to be the first one to piss on Berg"- Ray J.

"Yes- it sad that this has happened and a testament that racism still exists- had it been Justin Bieber his attacker would have been curteous enough to shit on him but because Young Berg is a BLACK man, he was pissed on to symbolise the act of ownership"- Al Sharpton

"Erm- yeah its fucked up but thats life- when a bitch pisses on you you hop right back up, when a nigger shits on your gums and calls you Sandra Rose you hop right back up and when a nigger drops yo ass for some skinny ass bitch from Barbados who spends the money set aside for yo' nex record on vibrating tampons you hop right back up"- Foxy Brown

The Police also believe that Ms Jones had an accomplice and and urge anyone with any information to come forward.

Lemon Pie.

Person A and Person B enter a pie making competition.

Person A and Person B along with five others enter the Fruit Pie category. Person A wins the award for having the Best Pie Overall, Person B wins for having the Best Fruit Pie. That's all im going to say about the VMAs and Grammys.

Onto a more shadier scenario- I logged onto my favourite site http://www.bossip.com/ and saw something which would have Moi Renee vogueing in her grave. Ray "I was irrelevant in the 90s and even more so almost 20 years later" J and The Game have put out a new track which has lines which get at Miss. Kim Kardashian.

Now we've spoken about hoe shit before as well as irrelevant shit but this shit that I'm about to go into is so sick and filthy that not even Tila Tequila would consider letting it penetrate her.

It's clear to me that Ray J and The Game are indeed the perfect match.

Dumb and Dumberer.

One looks like Rasputia sleeps on his face and the other couldn't sell white pussy to Tiger Woods.

You see- in my "insert modest but untruthful figure" years of living- I have learnt many valuable lessons- how to lace a bitches Soco with laxative- how to suck dick without gagging and how to dishearten a Mariah Carey fan but the most important lesson I have learnt is this:

People who ain't got shit to do always got shit to say.

Get into this my little sluts.

People who ain't got shit to do always got shit to say.

Shit like "Why does anybody need to stay in school- after you learn to count that's all you need." and shit like "I'm not benefiting from this sextape like she is- you don't see me on the cover of Playboy."

You see- this morning when Kim Kardashian woke up I'm sure the last thing on her mind was how she was going to pay her rent or how unsuccesful that guy she fucked on camera is, thats because Kim has shit to do.

When God gave Kim lemons, she made lemonade, lemon pie, lemon meringue, lemon tea and she served it all us to us and made us eat it. Don't hate on a bitch for making the best of a bad situation.

When was the last time your ass and head game turned you into an international brand?

When?

What honey?

Sweetie speak up- what did you say?

Never? Did you say not never?

Indeed bitch- never, and it never will because you're not smart like Kim.

You ain't know how to maximise yo' shit.

So Ray J, if your past work is anything to by- the highest this "song" you put out will go is number 8 on the Douglas/Harris Chart, so here's what I want you to do:

Tonight when you go to bed, sit up and think of all the things you achieved this week, not this year, not this decade, but this week. When you can list five things that your label (snickers) would be proud of that's when you can consider talking about succesful people.

And as for The Game- my dear- perhaps if you had stayed in school longer you would have been smart enough to realize not to sign that shady ass contract with Senor Curtis who still makes that cheddar everytime someone purchases one of your albums, comprende' fool?

Don't hate on Kim for doing the shit your ass is too stupid to think up.

Yes Ray J- your dick game is good- I've seen the tape and so yes- you could get your pole polished but it's a shame your career and mark in the world isn't as sweet and poweful as your cock.

It was the Grammys two nights ago- where were you?

The VMAs in 2009- where were you?

Keri Hilson collecting Employee Of the Day Award- where you?

Focus on the scent of your own shit before you try to come for somebody whose already flushed, scrubbed and disinfected their toilet bowl.

Fucker.

And oh yes- Young Buck called- he wants to know if he left his lube at your place?