To Whom It May Concern
I am a peaceloving person, I give to charity, I put dollar bills in the collection box, I even let a homeless man eat me out when he told me hadn't had a meal in weeks. As a peaceloving person I believe that we as individuals should spread peace as easily as Alicia Keys spreads her legs.
Mtv- It's important you understand what your name is. Music. You are called Music Television, so like you are meant to be a channel which plays music.
So when two icons decide to put their creative brains together and create something amazing like let's say a music video, you would think that as a channel which calls itself Music Tv would play that video when they said they would.
It's not nice to cheat people, it's not nice to advertise falsely. How would you feel if someone promised you something for weeks and then decided not to give it to you. Huh?
YOUR ASSES BETTER HOPE I DON'T CATCH ONE OF YOUR FUCKING EMPLOYEES COS IF MY CRAZY BLACK ASS DOES I WILL CHARGE MY VIDEO PHONE IN THEIR FUCKING ANUSES YOU FUCKING LIARS. YOU FUCKIN MADE ME TAKE A DAY OFF WORK FOR THIS VIDEO JUST TO TELL ME YOUR FUCKIN ASSES ARE GOING TO AIR IT AT A LATER DATE.
YOU PUT ON THE HILLS ON TIME.
YOU GIVE DULL COUNTRY SINGERS AWARDS THEY DONT DESERVE.
YOU EVEN GIVE BRITNEY GOOD REVIEWS.
YET WHEN TWO ICONS DECIDE TO CREATE AN ICONIC MUSIC VIDEO YOU DECIDE TO TAUNT US AND MAKE US WATCH US SOME DUMASS DATING SHOW INSTEAD.
FUCK YOU MTV.
FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
FUCK YOUR SISTER.
FUCK YOUR GODDAMN NETWORK.
YOU HAVE PISSED OFF THE GAYS!
YOU HAVE PISSED OFF THE STANS!
YOU HAVE PISSED OF TYRA!
WE WILL COME TO YOUR HEADQUARTERS AND HISS AND SNAP AND VOGUE OUR WAYS INTO YOUR BOADROOM AND FORCE YOUR EXECUTIVES TO CHEW ALL 900,000 UNSOLD COPIES OF MISS KELLY- THE FORGOTTEN MEMBER EDITION.
Kind Regards
The Pop Whore
Thursday, 5 November 2009
Make up your own fucking heading!
I won't waste time with a witty introduction or humorous haha content probably bitten off the Beyonceitis message board, I'll just hop right into this bitch.
As you know I am one of the only people in this world who appreciates how important Miss. Fenty is- in every generation there must be a pop tart who poses, gives us great tracks, has a wicked style and poses some more and her "nemesis" must be an pop artist who innovates, give us legendary tracks, has a wicked style and poses alot.
In the 80s, Madonna was that pop tart and Cyndi Lauper was that pop artist.
In the late 90s, Britney was that pop tart and Beyonce' was that pop artist.
In the noughties, Britney and Rihanna are those pop tarts and Lady Gaga and Sasha Fierce are those pop artists.
Now i'm not throwing shade on Britney or Rihanna- collecting music written by European producers whose names you can't pronounce can't be easy and going on tours where the least interesting aspect of that tour is yourself can't be easy either but for some reason we love them because in everybody's mind lies what I call The Stupido.
Whilst watching awards shows our Stupido works overtime switching itself on and off everytime a new artist gets on stage. For example, here is how the stupido will work on an upcoming award show.
8.20pm- Ciara opens up the show- (ignoro turns on)
8.35 pm- Rihanna takes to the stage to perform Pussy Like This (stupido turns on)
9.00 pm- Janet Jackson performs Michael Jackson tribute.
9.00:32pm- Beyonce' takes to the stage (stupido turns off- orgams turns on)
10pm- Lady Gaga takes to the stage (intrigue turns on)
11.00pm- Kylie Minogue takes to the stage alongside the Madonna tribute act to perform 50 Y.O (stupido turns on.)
Our Stupidos tell us there's nothing wrong with Tyra Banks defending gay people and then has Bow Wow on the show even though he hasn't got a record, cologne or height assisting machine to promote.
Our stupidos tell us that the reason your favourite artist flopped is because of lack of promotion.
Our stupidos tell us there's nothing strange about Mr.Carter signing artists who look like cheaper variations of his wife.
Our stupidos convince us that En Vogue are going to make a comeback.
However our stupidos aren't all that stupid- if they were we would have noticed that although Ciara had a record out this year she was not asked to perform at he VMAS. We use our ignoros when watching Ciara- our minds process a Ciara video or interview and then force our brains to ignore the content of that video or interview.
Yesterday, my stupido stopped working and then i just got pissed off.
Rihanna.
The Wait is Ova.
What we're we waiting for- it's not as if there's a shortage of posing foreign exports releasing songs that 11 year old girls raised on Hannah Montana think is the best thing since African dick.
I always knew Rihanna was a poser but this video took the biscuit, she didnt even bother to pretend as if she can do anything else.
In Take A Bow, she demonstrated hand-eye coordination when she was driving that nice car really really slow trying to get away from that biracial guy who runs in slow motion.
In SOS, we saw her get her Alicia Keys on and spread her legs.
In Run This Town, she even pointed.
But in The Wait is Ova- she just poses and poses and then poses some more and my stupido just didnt know what to do- my stupido only works when some effort is taken to fuel its stupidity but there was none- just posing and pussy touching.
Rihanna's new record will be hot no doubt, especially now that she's gotten so deep, I mean did you see the way she was bobbing her head and pointing at the camera- that shit is deep. However, I'm going to say this: If i was a straight male with a throbbing penis and Rihanna knocked on my door to borrow some sugar- she could get it.
As you know I am one of the only people in this world who appreciates how important Miss. Fenty is- in every generation there must be a pop tart who poses, gives us great tracks, has a wicked style and poses some more and her "nemesis" must be an pop artist who innovates, give us legendary tracks, has a wicked style and poses alot.
In the 80s, Madonna was that pop tart and Cyndi Lauper was that pop artist.
In the late 90s, Britney was that pop tart and Beyonce' was that pop artist.
In the noughties, Britney and Rihanna are those pop tarts and Lady Gaga and Sasha Fierce are those pop artists.
Now i'm not throwing shade on Britney or Rihanna- collecting music written by European producers whose names you can't pronounce can't be easy and going on tours where the least interesting aspect of that tour is yourself can't be easy either but for some reason we love them because in everybody's mind lies what I call The Stupido.
Whilst watching awards shows our Stupido works overtime switching itself on and off everytime a new artist gets on stage. For example, here is how the stupido will work on an upcoming award show.
8.20pm- Ciara opens up the show- (ignoro turns on)
8.35 pm- Rihanna takes to the stage to perform Pussy Like This (stupido turns on)
9.00 pm- Janet Jackson performs Michael Jackson tribute.
9.00:32pm- Beyonce' takes to the stage (stupido turns off- orgams turns on)
10pm- Lady Gaga takes to the stage (intrigue turns on)
11.00pm- Kylie Minogue takes to the stage alongside the Madonna tribute act to perform 50 Y.O (stupido turns on.)
Our Stupidos tell us there's nothing wrong with Tyra Banks defending gay people and then has Bow Wow on the show even though he hasn't got a record, cologne or height assisting machine to promote.
Our stupidos tell us that the reason your favourite artist flopped is because of lack of promotion.
Our stupidos tell us there's nothing strange about Mr.Carter signing artists who look like cheaper variations of his wife.
Our stupidos convince us that En Vogue are going to make a comeback.
However our stupidos aren't all that stupid- if they were we would have noticed that although Ciara had a record out this year she was not asked to perform at he VMAS. We use our ignoros when watching Ciara- our minds process a Ciara video or interview and then force our brains to ignore the content of that video or interview.
Yesterday, my stupido stopped working and then i just got pissed off.
Rihanna.
The Wait is Ova.
What we're we waiting for- it's not as if there's a shortage of posing foreign exports releasing songs that 11 year old girls raised on Hannah Montana think is the best thing since African dick.
I always knew Rihanna was a poser but this video took the biscuit, she didnt even bother to pretend as if she can do anything else.
In Take A Bow, she demonstrated hand-eye coordination when she was driving that nice car really really slow trying to get away from that biracial guy who runs in slow motion.
In SOS, we saw her get her Alicia Keys on and spread her legs.
In Run This Town, she even pointed.
But in The Wait is Ova- she just poses and poses and then poses some more and my stupido just didnt know what to do- my stupido only works when some effort is taken to fuel its stupidity but there was none- just posing and pussy touching.
Rihanna's new record will be hot no doubt, especially now that she's gotten so deep, I mean did you see the way she was bobbing her head and pointing at the camera- that shit is deep. However, I'm going to say this: If i was a straight male with a throbbing penis and Rihanna knocked on my door to borrow some sugar- she could get it.
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